arse poetica

Can't Get Enough of That "Sanctity of Life" Crowd

Horrible tragedy. What is it w/ right-wingers and murder?

Evolution vs creation row ends in stabbing.

(Here's Your Hat) What's Your Hurry, Trent Lott?

First I read this: Lott to retire; Kyl eyes whip role.

Then I think, Hmm. Something's fishy. Wasn't that repugnant misogynist L*rry Flynt sliming around town making pronouncements about bombshell announcements? Hmm.

Then I find this: Is a Male Escort Behind Trent Lott's Resignation?

I might need that new category for Closeted Homo-Hatin' Repugnican Senators after all.

Shorter Trent Lott: When I'm not pining for the bad old days of segregation, I'm (allegedly) blowing young male escorts while promoting anti-gay legislation. Sounds about right for today's Repugnican Party! I'm sure they'll miss ol' T.Lo dearly.

And I wouldn't give one hoot who Trent Lott did or did not blow if he weren't a dangerous, civil rights-attacking bigot lawmaker while he did or did not do it.

This Just In: Black People Are Articulate! And They Dance Well!

Honestly. HON-estly.

Media Matters - O'Reilly surprised "there was no difference" between Harlem restaurant and other New York restaurants.

During the September 19 edition of his nationally syndicated radio program, discussing his recent trip to have dinner with Rev. Al Sharpton at Sylvia's, a famous restaurant in Harlem, Bill O'Reilly reported that he "had a great time, and all the people up there are tremendously respectful," adding: "I couldn't get over the fact that there was no difference between Sylvia's restaurant and any other restaurant in New York City. I mean, it was exactly the same, even though it's run by blacks, primarily black patronship."

Black people are just like regular people!

Later, during a discussion with National Public Radio senior correspondent and Fox News contributor Juan Williams about the effect of rap on culture, O'Reilly asserted: "There wasn't one person in Sylvia's who was screaming, 'M-Fer, I want more iced tea.'

Sometimes black people can speak without using the word m-therf-cker!

You know, I mean, everybody was -- it was like going into an Italian restaurant in an all-white suburb in the sense of people were sitting there, and they were ordering and having fun. And there wasn't any kind of craziness at all."

Black people can go into Italian restaurants in the suburbs and order and have fun! Or something! (No one said Bill-O was a genius. -- Understatement Ed.)

O'Reilly also stated: "I think black Americans are starting to think more and more for themselves."

Sometimes black people are able to function without white people telling them what to do! Even though white people do this for black people's own good!

&@#$@*%!!

HAHA! Ha! Heh... Hunh.

Married To The Sea Comic Archive: Sep 2007.

Listen here, people: the many, many, many Repugnican family values hypocrites who have difficulty communicating w/ other menfolk and somehow foster "misunderstandings" that somehow are all interpreted as an offer of fellatio are NOT GAY. Repeat: NOT GAY. Got that? NOT. GAY. Really. No, really. NOT. GAY.

Because it is much better to be an adulterous sneak soliciting sex in a public place or to sexually harass young people in your employ or to be considered a racist or to be a drug-abusing hypocrite or to assault a sleeping person than to be -- gasp! -- Teh Gay! (Cue: horror organ muzik)

Now I'm not a senator--nor do I skulk around public restrooms--but I've just never had a complete stranger misconstrue my (innocent) intentions so drastically. I mean, when's the last time you were in line at the Piggly Wiggly wondering aloud about the 2-for-1 special on Funyuns and the guy in front of you thought you were offering him a blowjob?

Maybe it's different for senators:

Citizen/bathroom patron: Do you have the time?
Senator Homohater: I'll blow you for $20.

I can see why there'd be so much confusion.

[via]

Maybe It's Just Goo Goo Eyes

It wouldn't take much special training to read my expression as: This is a crock. Grandmothers taking off their shoes - honestly! This illusion of security is tiresome and the whole exercise a sham.

New airport agents check for danger in fliers' facial expressions.

Next time you go to the airport, there may be more eyes on you than you notice.

Specially trained security personnel are watching body language and facial cues of passengers for signs of bad intentions. The watcher could be the attendant who hands you the tray for your laptop or the one standing behind the ticket-checker. Or the one next to the curbside baggage attendant.

They're called Behavior Detection Officers, and they're part of several recent security upgrades, Transportation Security Administrator Kip Hawley told an aviation industry group in Washington last month. He described them as "a wonderful tool to be able to identify and do risk management prior to somebody coming into the airport or approaching the crowded checkpoint."

I'm well aware of non-verbal cues and might even put stock in them in some circumstances; I just can't take anything these assholes do seriously.

[photo credit: Mike Farruggia, United States of Whatever,         Mixed media, 2005.]

Pollution Has Vitamins!

Dogbert sounds suspiciously like Romney and McCain and Guiliani and Thompson ... hmm.

[click to enlarge, then laugh, laugh, laugh]

Damn Vicious Women

Honestly, when will "women" stop bringing our political discourse down? There they are brazenly making up the majority of Congress and corporate boards, the lot of them captains of industry and academia, essentially dominating all spheres of influence in the country; poor men can't get a word in edgewise. And it is abundantly clear that strident women run roughshod over the political system, hogging all the rights for themselves -- I mean, all that free child-, health- and eldercare for everyone, all that improved education and emphasis on social equity programs and financial independence, all that consumer advocacy and clean food, all that care for the environment, but most especially all that time spent relaxing and sitting on their asses because they are finally in control of their own goddamn bodies. Will their reign of terror never end? Beyond the shadow of a doubt these witch women have let the power go to their heads (all in a day's work of sucking men's life essence) and are controlling the discourse w/ an iron fist.

The bitches!

::reality dawns::

Oh, right. Bob Nofacts is an idiot.

Novak: Women's 'venom' toward Bush is 'so vicious.'

Novak: I hate to say it, but I think the hatred toward George W. Bush is just mad. I listen to, sometimes in the car radio, on talk shows, and the venom that comes out of the mouths of some of these women, particularly, I’m not trying to be sexist, but they’re so vicious toward him. And I don’t think that really contributes. And also, the bloggers, I don’t read the bloggers very much, but it is really, it’s really vicious.

Oh, he's not trying to be sexist. He comes to it naturally.

And what the hell are these impudent women thinking participating as informed citizens in their democracy being so vicious (meeeow!) to poor, poor Dear Leader, the most powerful person dangerous moron in the world? Nofacts wonders why we're not happy that OB-GYNs can't practice their love w/ us and that our children have no health insurance and are given medically inaccurate information or that our educational system is failing (on purpose) and he's attacking Title IX, not to mention OUR VERY BODIES, or that hundreds of thousands of people are murdered in our name to further a craven agenda built on lies and propagated by fear and malice.

I mean, really, girls. Why so hysterical? Maybe it's PMS. Take some Pamprin and shut it. He's the Deciderer, and it's hard work. And he shall not be questioned, at least not in your shrill and grating tones.

[Pictured: A harpy, no doubt bitching in an unladylike manner about dumbyass, as the shameless ingrates are wont to do.]

Less Winston Than Adolph to Put a Fine Point on It

Seems the conservative Claremont Institute is going to give Rumsfeld a prestigious award yet another insane wingnut prop-up.

Wonkette thinks there's been some kind of mix-up.

Dept. Of Dubious Honors: Hilarious Mix-Up Results In Churchill Award For Rumsfeld.

We’re not historians like the previous winner of the coveted Churchill award ... but didn’t Winston win his war? Because we’re pretty sure Rumsfeld lost every war, and that he also started all those wars, which would make him the natural choice for the less-prestigious Hitler Award.

Well, you go to awards ceremonies w/ the reputation you have, not the reputation you want.

Also, it is Bastille Day, people! A day when war criminals like Rumsfeld should not be spoken of in terms of accolades. Were these different times, I'd have two words for that f*cker: guillo. tine.

Y'all remember back when striving toward enlightenment ideals as embodied in the Declaration of the Rights of (Hu)Man and of the Citizen was what modern societies did?

Pipe Dreams are Under the Bed

Dear Jeebus, this right-wing cult of contrived mascunlinity freaks me right out.

Opus, by Berkeley Breathed.

Fred Thompson: Atrophy Husband?

Does the NYT need some help coming up w/ a hook this presidential race season? I know some 5th graders who could help out w/ questions about lazy-ass "outsider" Fred Thompson cozying up to lobbyists and being in cahoots with the Nixon WH during Watergate.

Will Her Face Determine His Fortune?

Is America ready for a president with a trophy wife?

Aaaaaaiiiiiiyyy!!

The title, the content, the pejorative, the underlying truth, the ick factor, the conservatives's studied tut-tutting about women's inherent worth as they oh-so-piously adjust their halos and decry all the bimbo talk. Give me an ever-lovin' break.

Feh.