arse poetica

Oh, Really? Cos Barack Obama Built Me a Robot

And baked me a pie. And recited a poem that reminded him of me.

He luuurves me.

Barack Obama Is Your New Bicycle.

Meet Your Al-Qaeda Operative!

Ladies and germs, your Bush administration brings you a world gone completely absurd.

Al-Qaeda wants your questions.

AL-QAEDA sympathisers have been asked to send in their questions for the terror network's second in command, which he will then answer in an online interview next month.

The bizarre stunt was announced in a new video posted on the internet in which al-Qaeda's number two, Ayman al-Zawahri, mocked today's British handover of security in southern Iraq to local forces as a sign that insurgents are gaining the upper hand.

The video, carried by Islamic websites, was issued as Britain handed over security to Iraqi forces in the last of four provinces it once patrolled, effectively marking the end of nearly five years of British control of southern Iraq.

The websites invited readers to send in questions during the next month for Zawahri to answer in an "open interview".  How the interview would work was not immediately clear.

What questions would you ask al-Qaeda's number two?  Let us know using the form below.

Zawahri has been in hiding since the September 11, 2001 attacks on the United States and - along with Osama bin Laden - is the target of a global manhunt from US forces.

Maybe they should look for him on Twitter. How's the bandwidth in those caves in Pakistan? &c. &c. Faugh.

It's Just Not Fair

The world could be run by decent people of conscience. It could, right?

He's got my vote (until such time as the Dem nominee--obviously not this man--is chosen when I, again seized w/ disgust and dismay, will vote for said namby-pamby nominee in hopes that RoveCo has not already stolen the "election").

Sob.

I Would Like to Live in a Country Where...

Glenn Beck could only appear on the NYT bestseller list if every other writer on earth took the year, maybe two, off.

Glenn Beck #1 on NYT List.

For the love of God, how is this possible?? That vacuous pretend bully yes man w/ the chip on his shoulder whose fanhood is obviously being questioned (every morning in the mirror, awww)? That guy?? Unbelievable.

That's it, nation. Pistols at dawn.

[photo credit]

Pay No Attention to That Diplomat in the Bullet Proof Vest

We're obviously winning the war. It's so obvious to all of us who are not Murka-hatin' libruls. Like the diplomat corps.

Some US Diplomats Angry Over Iraq Posts.

Several hundred U.S. diplomats vented anger and frustration Wednesday about the State Department's decision to force foreign service officers to take jobs in Iraq, with some likening it to a "potential death sentence."

In a contentious hour-long "town hall meeting," they peppered officials behind the order with often hostile complaints about the largest diplomatic call-up since Vietnam. Announced last week, it will require some diplomats _ under threat of dismissal _ to serve at the embassy in Baghdad and in so-called Provincial Reconstruction Teams in outlying provinces.

Many expressed serious concern about the ethics of sending diplomats against their will to serve in a war zone, where the embassy staff is largely confined to the so-called "Green Zone," and the safety outside the area is uncertain while a review of the department's use of private security contractors to protect its staff is under way.

"Incoming is coming in every day, rockets are hitting the Green Zone," said one who identified himself as Jack Crotty, a senior foreign service officer who once worked as a political adviser with NATO forces.

He and others directly confronted Foreign Service Director General Harry Thomas, who approved the move to "directed assignments" late last Friday to make up for a lack of volunteers willing to go to Iraq.

"It's one thing if someone believes in what's going on over there and volunteers, but it's another thing to send someone over there on a forced assignment," Crotty said. "I'm sorry, but basically that's a potential death sentence and you know it. Who will raise our children if we are dead or seriously wounded?"

His remarks were met with loud and sustained applause from the approximately 300 diplomats at the meeting.

Hmm. Well, then.

[photo credit]

I Doubt It

New Heart Device Allows Cheney To Experience Love.

[photo credit]

HAHA! Ha! Heh... Hunh.

Married To The Sea Comic Archive: Sep 2007.

Listen here, people: the many, many, many Repugnican family values hypocrites who have difficulty communicating w/ other menfolk and somehow foster "misunderstandings" that somehow are all interpreted as an offer of fellatio are NOT GAY. Repeat: NOT GAY. Got that? NOT. GAY. Really. No, really. NOT. GAY.

Because it is much better to be an adulterous sneak soliciting sex in a public place or to sexually harass young people in your employ or to be considered a racist or to be a drug-abusing hypocrite or to assault a sleeping person than to be -- gasp! -- Teh Gay! (Cue: horror organ muzik)

Now I'm not a senator--nor do I skulk around public restrooms--but I've just never had a complete stranger misconstrue my (innocent) intentions so drastically. I mean, when's the last time you were in line at the Piggly Wiggly wondering aloud about the 2-for-1 special on Funyuns and the guy in front of you thought you were offering him a blowjob?

Maybe it's different for senators:

Citizen/bathroom patron: Do you have the time?
Senator Homohater: I'll blow you for $20.

I can see why there'd be so much confusion.

[via]

Want.Baby.Tigers.

It's probably a good thing I'm not a decadent rich person, because I could see that if I had ridiculous money (and the attendant entitlement) I might break all rules of common sense and what is right and just have to have a baby tiger. I'm 100% id right now.

Photo Gallery: Tiger Triplets Christened in Leipzig Zoo.

Maybe It's Just Goo Goo Eyes

It wouldn't take much special training to read my expression as: This is a crock. Grandmothers taking off their shoes - honestly! This illusion of security is tiresome and the whole exercise a sham.

New airport agents check for danger in fliers' facial expressions.

Next time you go to the airport, there may be more eyes on you than you notice.

Specially trained security personnel are watching body language and facial cues of passengers for signs of bad intentions. The watcher could be the attendant who hands you the tray for your laptop or the one standing behind the ticket-checker. Or the one next to the curbside baggage attendant.

They're called Behavior Detection Officers, and they're part of several recent security upgrades, Transportation Security Administrator Kip Hawley told an aviation industry group in Washington last month. He described them as "a wonderful tool to be able to identify and do risk management prior to somebody coming into the airport or approaching the crowded checkpoint."

I'm well aware of non-verbal cues and might even put stock in them in some circumstances; I just can't take anything these assholes do seriously.

[photo credit: Mike Farruggia, United States of Whatever,         Mixed media, 2005.]

The Next F.U.

Continuously mistaken millionaire war profiteer Thomas L. Friedman wants to strangle his critics. (Or maybe he's imitating a pompom motion as he cheerleads The Endless War.)

ThinkProgress has a nicely done graphic of the never-ending "next few months" in Iraq, of which Friedman is BushCo's most faithful pollyanna. These "next few months" started in 2003 w/ arch fiend Donald Rumsfeld lying, "It could last...six days, six weeks. I doubt six months," and have continued to present day.

Iraq Timeline: The Broken Record on "the Next Few Months".

"The Next F.U."? Yup, one big long F.U.