arse poetica

Unmentionables

I do really wish my alien parents would come back for me. I'm clearly not from this planet.

Taiwanese Firm Asks Workers to Work in their Undies.

The Audrey Underwear company in Taiwan asked it’s 500 women employs in the firms head quarters to come to work in camisoles and knickers to celebrate record sales.  In fact, they have decided to repeat the event once a month.

Needless to say, the male workers were excited about the record sales too. "We have been waiting for this day all month. Today, we are super high, and don't know where to put our eyes," salesman Cai Mingda told Straits News.

I know where salesman Cal Mingda can put his eyes:

For all my peace-loving, I sure do feel violent more often than I'd care to.

"I'm very glad you're big in Japan."

Well! (Heh.)

The Paglia-Burchill Fax Wars.

Sometimes I'm really glad I read the Times' book blog. That was just the bizarre respite I needed. Now back to work. (Bleah.)

Maximize Dynamic Infomediaries

This gives me a rash, a hacking cough, watering eyes, a sneezing fit, and the heebie jeebies. I am clearly allergic. My most hated word: impactful. Aaaaaaaarrrggghh!! Run away! Run away!

web economy bullshit generator.

[Pictured: Ipecac.]

Verizon Finds Spine, Remembers 1st Amendment

Assholes. I'd already sent my email informing them of my decision to find a new provider, since they thought they were living in some fascist information-controlling state. Ahem.

Verizon Reverses Itself on Abortion Messages.

Saying it had the right to block “controversial or unsavory” text messages, Verizon Wireless last week rejected a request from Naral Pro-Choice America, the abortion rights group, to make Verizon’s mobile network available for a text-message program.

But the company reversed course this morning, saying it had made a mistake.

“The decision to not allow text messaging on an important, though sensitive, public policy issue was incorrect, and we have fixed the process that led to this isolated incident,” Jeffrey Nelson, a company spokesman, said in a statement.

“It was an incorrect interpretation of a dusty internal policy,” Mr. Nelson said. “That policy, developed before text messaging protections such as spam filters adequately protected customers from unwanted messages, was designed to ward against communications such as anonymous hate messaging and adult materials sent to children.”

Mr. Nelson noted that text messaging is “harnessed by organizations and individuals communicating their diverse opinions about issues and topics” and said Verizon has “great respect for this free flow of ideas.”

They have great respect for the free flow of money. Let's not pretend.

Yes, I am Getting My Sister This for Chrismaramakwanzakah

Hee.

Girly: Guess What Chicken Butt T-shirt (white).

This Just In: Black People Are Articulate! And They Dance Well!

Honestly. HON-estly.

Media Matters - O'Reilly surprised "there was no difference" between Harlem restaurant and other New York restaurants.

During the September 19 edition of his nationally syndicated radio program, discussing his recent trip to have dinner with Rev. Al Sharpton at Sylvia's, a famous restaurant in Harlem, Bill O'Reilly reported that he "had a great time, and all the people up there are tremendously respectful," adding: "I couldn't get over the fact that there was no difference between Sylvia's restaurant and any other restaurant in New York City. I mean, it was exactly the same, even though it's run by blacks, primarily black patronship."

Black people are just like regular people!

Later, during a discussion with National Public Radio senior correspondent and Fox News contributor Juan Williams about the effect of rap on culture, O'Reilly asserted: "There wasn't one person in Sylvia's who was screaming, 'M-Fer, I want more iced tea.'

Sometimes black people can speak without using the word m-therf-cker!

You know, I mean, everybody was -- it was like going into an Italian restaurant in an all-white suburb in the sense of people were sitting there, and they were ordering and having fun. And there wasn't any kind of craziness at all."

Black people can go into Italian restaurants in the suburbs and order and have fun! Or something! (No one said Bill-O was a genius. -- Understatement Ed.)

O'Reilly also stated: "I think black Americans are starting to think more and more for themselves."

Sometimes black people are able to function without white people telling them what to do! Even though white people do this for black people's own good!

&@#$@*%!!

U-S-A! U-S-A!

I mean, W-T-F??

Student Arrested, Tasered at Kerry Event.

Maybe It's Just Goo Goo Eyes

It wouldn't take much special training to read my expression as: This is a crock. Grandmothers taking off their shoes - honestly! This illusion of security is tiresome and the whole exercise a sham.

New airport agents check for danger in fliers' facial expressions.

Next time you go to the airport, there may be more eyes on you than you notice.

Specially trained security personnel are watching body language and facial cues of passengers for signs of bad intentions. The watcher could be the attendant who hands you the tray for your laptop or the one standing behind the ticket-checker. Or the one next to the curbside baggage attendant.

They're called Behavior Detection Officers, and they're part of several recent security upgrades, Transportation Security Administrator Kip Hawley told an aviation industry group in Washington last month. He described them as "a wonderful tool to be able to identify and do risk management prior to somebody coming into the airport or approaching the crowded checkpoint."

I'm well aware of non-verbal cues and might even put stock in them in some circumstances; I just can't take anything these assholes do seriously.

[photo credit: Mike Farruggia, United States of Whatever,         Mixed media, 2005.]

Who is he, the Wiz?

Oh, please let it be Fitzmas soon.

Rove's August Surprise.

“Karl Rove is moving on down the road,” President Bush told reporters, amplifying his Texan accent.

Ease on down, ease on down that road...to prison. He'd better be amplifyin' his legal representation.

“I’ll be on the road behind you in a little bit.”

Can't happen fast enough for this grrl.

What in the Hell is Judy Miller's Damage?

::sputtering::

Judy Miller Defends Leaker -- Of Harry Potter Ending!

Judith Miller, the former New York Times reporter who is something of an expert on leaks, was asked today on the Fox News show "Fox and Friends" about the burning issue of the day: Who leaked the pages from the new Harry Potter book and does she defend the leaker?

Miller said she didn't think the leaker giving away the ending of the book was the right thing to do but added, chuckling, "I would defend to the death his right to do it."

Oh, do f*ck off, Judy.

"So what does happen in this Harry Potter book?" she was asked. "I don't know," Miller said, laughing, fairly certain she would avoid jail in this case.

"I know you can keep a secret," one host noted.

Switching to the slightly more serious subject of the new National Intelligence Estimate finding al-Qaeda resurgent, a host told her, "You are an expert on terrorism."

Judy Miller is an expert on terrorism??

"Everyone is an expert on terrorism today," Miller replied.

Well, sure if by "expert" we mean the standards we ascribe to Judy Miller. Hell, in that case, the Dingo is an expert on terrorism.

She said she was "not surprised" by the new al-Qaeda assessment, adding: "Obviously what concerns everyone is the prospective use of a weapon of mass destruction. We know that al-Qada has continued its quest for chemical and biological agents and radioactive material, but we don't know if they have gotten any of it."

Oh, really? Cos I thought that was reason #65b for why we invaded Iraq.

She said dangers abound but "we are safer today given the spending of billions of dollars. It's just harder to walk onto an airliner and blow it up."

Why does this officious war shill have a platform on which to spew forth on any topic? Oh, haha. What hilarity lying us into a war. What giggles to "defend" the honor of the dishonorable. My sides are aching. What mirth.

Anyhoo, Harry Potter. I've not read any of the books (not a fantasy fan in general) and instead I've seen all of the movies w/ pals, and I've really enjoyed them. db's reading the last book now, and I am trying not to guess what might happen from the grimaces and raised eyebrows and clenched jaws that I can sense from across the room.

I really hope some jerk doesn't ruin it for everyone by blurting out the ending. Is this too much to hope for? I've studiously avoided all reviews, articles, headlines, mentions, and allusions, and it'll be a miracle if I'm still happily in the dark about Potter goings on in about 3 years when the final film comes out.