arse poetica

Better Shred Than Read

Ya don't say.

 

Shreddin' With Dick.

Spotted on 10/19, by an eagle-eyed Wonkette reader: The Mid-Atlantic Shredding Services truck making its way up to the Cheney compound at the Naval Observatory.

Fun fact: Mid-Atlantic Shredding Services has been contracted by the Secret Service for our Executive Branch’s record-not-keeping needs.

They don't even let us make stuff up! Who needs an imagination with this many conspiracy-ready moments in this madministration? Honestly.

The Daily Show: Fake News is Good News

Some of us have known this for ages.

The Daily Show v. network news.

Most 20-somethings already suspect you can get as much information from The Daily Show as you can from network news. Now they have proof. A new study, "No Joke: A Comparison of Substance in The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and Broadcast Television Coverage of the 2004 Presidential Election Campaign," by Julia R. Fox of Indiana University, finds that The Daily Show has the same amount of substantive content per news story as the traditional broadcasters. In fact:

The proportion of each story devoted to substance [on The Daily Show] was greater than in the network news stories," according to the report. 

Although the entire paper won't be published until next summer, there is enough in the IU press release to make it clear that the sun may have set on the era of network news. And if that isn't truthiness, I don't know what is.

John Boehner is a Crack Smokin' Fool

Somebody get this guy to rehab.

Also, if Rummy knows where bodies are buried at the Pentagon, we'll need to charge him w/ that crime, too. Somebody keeping a list?

GOP, Democratic leaders spar on Rumsfeld.

"I think Donald Rumsfeld is the best thing that's happened to the Pentagon in 25 years," Boehner said. "This Pentagon and our military needs a transformation. And I think Donald Rumsfeld's the only man in America who knows where the bodies are buried at the Pentagon, has enough experience to help transform that institution."

[Photo from HuffPo]

I Feel A Little Like This Sometimes

All blurry and buzzy.

Photo herstory: ae | backyard | funky bug flying around noisily, and I can't believe I captured it even this much!

Rumsfeld's Assholity Unquantifiable

I hate him.

Rumsfeld Tells Iraq Critics to 'Back Off'.

With his chorus of critics expanding deeper into Republican ranks, Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld told detractors yesterday to pull back as U.S. and Iraqi officials grapple with the uncertainties of laying out Iraq's course.

"You ought to just back off, take a look at it, relax, understand that it's complicated, it's difficult," Rumsfeld said, appearing unusually combative as he sparred with reporters at the Pentagon.

It's complicated, it's difficult. Stuff happens. It's hard work. Heckuva job. Last throes. Just a comma. Relax.

Friday Beastie Blogging

Beasties! Quiet, sleeping, peaceful beasties. Not being bratty at all. Never! They're angels.

[L] The light blue at the bottom of the pic is my t-shirt. I have a whole series of photos of the Dingo curled up between me and db, sleeping w/ her chin on her paws, which, I'm here to tell you is the cutest thing that has been witnessed in some time.

[R] Little cracks me up, because sometimes I look at her and she looks like a brand new puppy, and sometimes she looks like she's 85. When she's sleeping, she looks much more puppy-ish. This is one of her more reserved sleeping poses. Usually, she's draped half over the arm of the chair, paws sticking out like she'd been posed there, or she's upside down, arms stiffly up in the air. 

Fun with the Library of Congress

Deadlines, research, yadda yadda, and I came across this wonderful photo on the Library of Congress photo site. It's a porcineograph! (Whatever that is.) But think what wondrous things we would be without had it not been for the Forbes Lithograph Manufacturing Company which made this gorgeous oddity in 1876.

And what is this gorgeous oddity? It's a map of the United States in the shape of a pig, of course. It's gehography. Says so right on the poster. Friends, a bad pun a day keeps the doctor away. (Sure beats "apple" danishes.)

Let's hear it for the Library of Congress! About the only damn thing connected to Congress that's worth a dime! Actually, I'm not sure Congress has much to do w/ it directly, which is probably why it functions so well and remains a valuable resource to us proles. And bonus! It doesn't sexually harrass us.

Let's hear what the Librarian of Congress James H. Billington has to say about the LOC's mission:

The Library of Congress is the nation's oldest federal cultural institution and serves as the research arm of Congress. It is also the largest library in the world, with more than 130 million items on approximately 530 miles of bookshelves. The collections include more than 29 million books and other printed materials, 2.7 million recordings, 12 million photographs, 4.8 million maps, and 58 million manuscripts.

The Library's mission is to make its resources available and useful to the Congress and the American people and to sustain and preserve a universal collection of knowledge and creativity for future generations. The Office of the Librarian is tasked to set policy and to direct and support programs and activities to accomplish the Library's mission.

And did you all think for one second that I could possibly have a thought in which I did not revile the BS artist who is squatting in the seat of power? (Not possible.) Think of it! The Library of Congress was started with the personal library of Thomas Jefferson -- a president who took delight in knowledge. Imagine! Now we have a president who brags about not reading.

He'safuckingmoronandIhatehisnonreadinggaffemakingmalapropisticfakeasscowpokeass.

A Pic-i-nic Basket, BooBoo?

Friends, let me posit this: If one were, say, mired in a deadline and had not, you know, planned ahead, then one might feel compelled to eat an apple danish out of the vending machine.

I recommend against it.

This is a poor substitute for supper. In fact, it's a poor substitute for food. My deadline-addled mind saw the word "apple" and thought that there might be fruit in such an offering.

Not so much.

As for the preservatives, best not to think about it. Had I been in my right mind and not suffering from dementia brought on by low blood sugar, I could've done the responsible thing. 

Like use the danish to prop up our listing bookshelves.

Friends, plan ahead! Don't let this happen to you. [Now back to our regularly scheduled deadline programming.]

Did You Know “the Google” Lives on the "Internets"?

It's not just that he's a world class idiot so removed from the obvious workings of everyday life -- I mean, a kindergartener knows that Google is Google -- it's that he is the supposed leader of what could have been a great country and he's a world class idiot so removed from the obvious workings of everyday life.

Bush says he uses “the Google.”

HOST: I’m curious, have you ever googled anybody? Do you use Google?

BUSH: Occasionally. One of the things I’ve used on the Google is to pull up maps. It’s very interesting to see — I’ve forgot the name of the program — but you get the satellite, and you can — like, I kinda like to look at the ranch. It remind me of where I wanna be sometimes.

It remind(s) me of where I wanna be sometimes. Sometimes? Hmmph.

Dim Son is in so far over his head, it's unbelievable. What a crime to perpetrate! I would love to live in a world where the Roves and the Cheneys would go to jail for foisting upon us such a godawful example of (craven) ineptitude.

General Peter Pace is an Asshole

Because anyone who would make so preposterous and so obviously strong-armed a statement as the unmitigated bullshit below has lost grip on anything resembling integrity.

Top US general says Rumsfeld is inspired by God.

The top US general defended the leadership of Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, saying it is inspired by God.

"He leads in a way that the good Lord tells him is best for our country," said Marine General Peter Pace, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

Rumsfeld is "a man whose patriotism focus, energy, drive, is exceeded by no one else I know ... quite simply, he works harder than anybody else in our building," Pace said at a ceremony at the Southern Command (Southcom) in Miami.

Harder at what?

Despicable shills, these hypocrites.