I Have Great Taste in Crushes

Reality has a well-known liberal bias! Bwahaaha!

Colbert Lampoons Bush at White House Correspondents Dinner-- President Does Not Seem Amused.

A blistering comedy “tribute” to President Bush by Comedy Central’s faux talk show host Stephen Colbert at the White House Correspondent Dinner Saturday night left George and Laura Bush unsmiling at its close.

Hey, the truth hurts, Chuckles.

Earlier, the president had delivered his talk to the 2700 attendees, including many celebrities and top officials, with the help of a Bush impersonator.

Is the impersonator smarter? Maybe we should hire him.

Colbert, who spoke in the guise of his talk show character, who ostensibly supports the president strongly, urged Bush to ignore his low approval ratings, saying they were based on reality, “and reality has a well-known liberal bias.”

Noting those low ratings, Colbert advised, "The glass isn't half empty - it's 68% empty. There's still some fluid in there, but I wouldn't drink it."

I'm thinking the liquid in there is the dregs of the Kool-Aid the rest of the press corps(e) drank.

He attacked those in the press who claim that the shake-up at the White House was merely re-arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. “This administration is soaring, not sinking,” he said. “They are re-arranging the deck chairs--on the Hindenburg.”

Oh, that's good. I might have to amend the subject line to "superior" taste in crushes.

Colbert told Bush he could end the problem of protests by retired generals by refusing to let them retire. He compared Bush to Rocky Balboa in the “Rocky” movies, always getting punched in the face—“and Apollo Creed is everything else in the world.”

Ha! And the hits just keep on comin'.

He noted former Ambassador Joseph Wilson in the crowd, as well as " Valerie Plame." Then, pretending to be worried that he had named her, he corrected himself, as Bush aides might do, "Uh, I mean... Joseph Wilson's wife." He asserted that it might be okay, as prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald was probably not there.

Woof. I can see how some of this might not be funny to those especially sensitive, thin-skinned types (read: under investigation)!

Colbert also made biting cracks about missing WMDs, “photo ops” on aircraft carriers and at hurriance (sic) disasters, and Vice President Cheney shooting people in the face.
Observing that Bush sticks to his principles, he said, "When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday - no matter what happened Tuesday."

Damn, that is so sad.

He closed his routine with a video fantasy where he gets to be White House Press Secretary, complete with a special “Gannon” button on his podium. By the end, he runs fleeing from Helen Thomas and her questions about why the U.S. really invaded Iraq and killed all those people.

Also lampooning the press, Colbert complained that he was “surrounded by the liberal media who are destroying this country, except for Fox News. Fox believes in presenting both sides—the president’s side and the vice president’s side."

Damn, that is so sad.

As he walked from the podium the president and First Lady gave Colbert quick nods, unsmiling, and left. E&P's Joe Strupp, in the crowd, observed that quite a few felt the material was, perhaps, uncomfortably biting.

Asked by E&P after it was over if he thought he'd been too harsh, Colbert said, "Not at all." Was he trying to make a point politically or just get laughs? "Just for laughs," he said. He said he did not pull any material for being too strong, just for time reasons.

"Uncomfortably biting" and "too harsh"?? Are you f*cking kidding me?!??! Smelling salts, please! These are JOKES about REALITIES that are uncomfortable and too harsh, you asshats! I'm sorry if he is afflicting the comfortable, but that's just the way the cookie crumbles. We're the ones stuck w/ the REALITIES of this madministration's plan to screw it all up, and I don't see too many folks laughing.

UPDATE: Crooks and Liars has the video (to the 2nd half of the speech, though C-Span is rumored to be rerunning this today) and a link to the full transcript.

Comments

[Pacian]

Why am I thinking of the Emperor's new clothes?

Boing Boing have linked to a couple of videos of this. Since I've never actually heard of this guy before, I am watching with interest.

[DivaJood]

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Is the impersonator smarter? Maybe we should hire him. >>

Well, it worked in the movie "Dave". God, I think I love Stephen Colbert. I bet they arrest him soon for being a part of a terrorist plot.

[ae]

Pacian, have you heard of this idiotic blowhard we've got here called Bill O'Reilly? If not, check out his idiocy here. Stephen Colbert, who used to be a Senior such-and-such Analyst on the Daily Show, now has his own show modelled on O'Reilly's, wherein he pretends to be a Bush-supporting uber-patriot who hates liberals. It's wonderful. You can catch pieces here and there at crooksandliars.com. It's almost as good as the Daily Show, which is the only news worth watching here!

DivaJood, I do hope Colbert's kept all his receipts, because I'm sure he'll at least be audited soon! I'm linking to the full transcript above. It is HILARIOUS. And now that I think about it, you're right. Our boy's in trouble.