Shhh, Don't Tell db

In a couple of weeks it'll be "Spring Holiday" here, also known as "Easter" off-campus, and I'm thinking of making db a leetle surprise. I'll share my recipe -- or, rather, someone's recipe -- with you: How to Make Marshmallow Chicks.

That's right, PEEPS! Everybody loves Peeps!

Except me. Eeeuuuuwww! Peeps are icky. Peeps, while adorable, are practically inedible. Peeps make my ears go all oogie tingly. On the inside. They're, what, at least 99% sugar? The other 1% probably a gummy saccharine-derivative. Peeps can only come around once a year*, because it takes a good 364 days to emerge from the sugar coma to, you guessed it, gorge on Peeps again!

What are Peeps and where did they come from? I don't know about y'all, but I get on my battered, heathen knees everytime I have a question and thank His Noodly Highness that the wonder that is Wikipedia exists, and it (we? they?) have the presence of mind to add the truly important entries like this one. Everything you ever wanted to know about Peeps but were afraid to ask.

I'd never eaten a Peep before I met db. Never even considered it, though that's misleading, because I don't think I knew what they were to consider having one or not. db's introduced me to many of the finer culinary joys in life: never had a slurpee, a twinkie, cheese fries, a whole bevy of drinks, cornbread, grits, brisket, green bean casserole, something else big that I'm forgetting, circus peanuts!, &c. and &c. 

Now, before everyone pulls out their hankies and starts boohooing at my deprived existence, please know that 1) I've known db for a long time so some of this follows the usual broadening of palates, 2) my family's culinary habits ran to the more, er, natural and vegetable-rich, and 3) I had a deprived existence.

[*Aiiiyy!! There are now Peeps for All Seasons!! No rest for the wicked.]

[More wonderful pix of Peeps in the Park here. Ha.]

Comments

[Diane]

"Peeps, while adorable, are practically inedible. Peeps make my ears go all oogie tingly. On the inside."

Well, you know how I feel about Peeps. Unfortunately, they seem edible to 800,000,000 Americans. I'll take the 125,000 pigs any day.

[ae]

Diane, I'm thinking the Peeps Co. is thinking 800,000,000 Murkans can't be wrong! Instead of eating them, I may do my own photo spread. Peeps and Dingo... Peeps and Finny... Peeps and Houseplant...

[db]

Dang. It sounds like all I have ever eaten is stuff that is bad for you. Now what do you want for dinner, pizza or chicken fried steak??

[Diane]

The worst part is that those 800,000,000 people--if made aware of how Peeps were made--would go right on buying them.

[ae]

db, no, not bad for you, per se, just not necessarily recommended as the basis of a rounded diet! Tonight it's salads, my friend! You might be suffering from scurvy; you're looking a little gray around the gills. =)

Diane, as shocking as it is true! Bleah.

[Dharma]

Okay, it was probably on Diane's site that I saw how many pigs die to produce peeps, which confirmed my committment not to eat them, aside from the fact that they are hideous. db and TGF would get along so so well. She considers Fritos a vegetable.

[Dave]

Peeps freak me out! They look like "human treats", dreamed up by some slightly out-of-touch alien farmer FATTENING US UP for "The Harvesting". I don't like circus peanuts either.

I feel much better getting that out.

[ja]

O frabjous day! Peeps!

Nanette likes 'em. Go figure. I think they are vile beyond all human comprehension, but they are the basis of the FUNNEST THING EVER!

Take one (1) Peep, and put it on a microwave-safe plate. Place it into the microwave for 10ish seconds on high. Watch it swell.... Careful now! It will explode if you leave it nuking for too long. Stop the microwave. Watch the Peep shrink to its former size. Now start up the microwave again. Peep swells. If you do this a few times, the Peep will start to grow weird appendages and get all mutate-y and cool.

Repeat as necessary. (This may be more fun if you are well supplied with mojitos.)

[ae]

Hi, Dave! Here, sit, have a cup of tea and a cookie. No, have another cookie. Feel fatter, I mean, better now? Muuwwaaaahhaah! ;->

ja, if we make Peeps or are given Peeps by generous others, I'm doing the microwave thing. More importantly, I'm doing the mojito thing. Both are infinitely more palatable than actually *eating* the dang things.

[ae]

Dharma, the Fritos as a vegetable thing killed me. Wait, pigs die so Peeps can be made?? I didn't get the reference. This is insane! I'll post an update if you have a link.

[crabbi]

If piggies are dying for Peeps, then I'll never eat another one -- unless I can find a Whole Foods version. I confess, I did eat a couple last week. Geek that I am, I like to bite their heads off first. Should I be admitting that? Have you lost all respect for me?

[ae]

crabbi, agreed. I'm pro-piggies! This just puts Peeps even further into disgusto-ville as far as I'm concerned.

And how could I possibly lose all respect for my favorite crabbi?? Biting the heads off first is the *only* way to go! ;-E <--- like my fangs?

[Congogirl]

You will love this. I'm not saying why. Just clickety click.

[David]

My anatomy & physiology prof gave Peeps to his rabbits!

[Dharma]

Your desire is my pleasure. From Diane, via Harper's From Harper's April Index:

125,000 pigs will die so that Americans can eat 800,000,000 Marshmallow Peeps this Easter.

love ya! db and TGF would make quite the feast for us.