arse poetica

Friday Best Puppy High Five Picture Ever Blogging

I'd love to pretend I had mad photog skillz, but my weak offerings put the lie to that immediately. This evening, while watching Goodnight and Good Luck, the beasts were being just too cute rasslin' around, and I had to tear myself from Clooney's awesomely indignant indictment of our failed 4th estate to snap a couple or 80 pix of the pets. A good 75 of them were overexposed or of one ear or half a tail or my leg. Par for the course. This one, however, should be hung in galleries. Or on the fridge. Let's hear it for the Scary Upside-Down Big Paw Puppy!

I'm in Love

Okay, so he's 4. I don't care. Friends, I've just spent the best half-hour of my entire week at lunch w/ my pal Joanne and her off-the-charts beautiful sons, of whom db and I are proud godparents. The gorgeousness knows no bounds. I'm floating over here. We met in our Arboretum amid native plants and exotic flora the world over. It is the most beautiful day of the year so far for more than one reason.

Am kicking self in the ass for 1) not bringing camera, and 2) not bringing camera phone, not that I know how to download the damn pix from my camera phone, mind you. If I did, you would have already been treated to the *amazing* pictures of the Dingo that begged -- begged, I tell you -- to be taken.

Have I mentioned that the dimples on Little Brother could hang stars in the sky, alter millennia-long migratory patterns, reverse the poles?

And Big Brother, whoo. To all you Freudians out there, what does it mean that as soon as I see my beautiful sweetie's radiant smile and little heartbreaking freckles on his nose and the earth-shattering kindness he exhibits as a matter of routine in sharing everything w/ everybody, not to mention hear that kid-perfect sing-songy tone of voice he adopts in telling a story (exciting goings on at the bagel shop today!), that I just want to pick him up and stuff him in my mouth?! Can this be more primal? Honestly. My entire week of bullshit vanishes within seconds. This here, friends, is the cure for what ails the world. If I could bottle it, I could retire tomorrow and devote myself to philanthropy and arts patronage. And picnics in the park w/ friends.

Cowboy Dumbya Wishes He Could Quit the Iraqis

Goddamn idiot.

Bush to Iraqis: Time to Get a Government.

"I want the Iraqi people to hear I've got great confidence in their capacity to self-govern," Bush said. "I also want the Iraqi people to hear — it's about time you get a unity government going.

Iraqis to Bush: Sorry, we can't hear you for all the bombs and shooting and kidnappings.

"In other words, Americans understand you're newcomers to the political arena. But pretty soon it's time to shut her down and get governing."

I just can't decide what I'm more offended by -- this utter buffoon's entirely unjustified paternalistic attitude or the affected John Waynification of that sentence.

And wait for it, cos you know it's coming. When in doubt, Rule #1 from the Karl Rove Handbook: Blame.Someone.Else. And here's Buckaroo B*sh right on time:

"In fact, much of the animosity and violence we now see is the legacy of Saddam Hussein," Bush said. "He is a tyrant who exacerbated sectarian divisions to keep himself in power."

Anybody buying this? Seems the answer is a resounding 'no.'

They Lie About Everything

Scoundrels and cheats. Is there anything Republicans won't lie about? Anything?

Howard Kaloogian, Repug candidate in the San Diego congressional race to replace cheating scoundrel Repugnican Duke Cunningham, is playing useful idiot and beating the drum of It's All Peachy in Iraq, Pay No Attention to the Insurgent Behind the Curtain! Of course, since it's going very badly in Iraq, he's decided to lie by putting a peaceful picture of an Istanbul suburb on his website and pretending it's downtown Baghdad.

Hmmph.

Yes, they're liars, scoundrels, and cheats. That is a given. They're also ignorant idiots. 

Istanbul and Baghdad. Apparently everybody past the white folks in Europe are a mystery to our Repug friends enemies. What kind of moron knows so little about Iraq and even less about Turkey to think he can fob off one for the other? And what sort of respect for his constituency does this hack have? None. Don't vote for him.

Turkey is a secular democracy. Iraq used to be a secular country. No longer! Thanks, CheneyPerleWolfowitzBremer! The Turkish alphabet uses Roman characters. Note to Kaloogian: It looks like these here words, dumbass. Iraqis use Arabic script. Did Kaloogian fail to notice the couple walking happily hand in hand in "western" dress? Did he fail to notice the signage on the billboards? It doesn't matter. Brown people, Muslims, it's all the same when it serves The Lie.

Wow. Check out the best pic that idiot Kaloogian could muster to demonstrate how safe as kittens Baghdad is. No wonder he's a lying, cheating scoundrel. The truth is just too damn inconvenient.

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Fitzmas!

INT. CHEZ ae & db -- EVENING

ae is levitating, cheeks literally off the couch, the afghan slack across her knees, grinning madly.

db: What are you so happy about all of a sudden?
ae:

Fitzgerald Will Seek New White House Indictments.

(T)he second part of the federal investigation into the leak of covert CIA agent Valerie Plame Wilson is nearly complete, with attorneys and government officials who have remained close to the probe saying that a grand jury will likely return an indictment against one or two senior Bush administration officials.

    These sources work or worked at the State Department, the CIA and the National Security Council. Some of these sources are attorneys close to the case. They requested anonymity because they were not permitted to speak publicly about the details of the investigation.

    In lengthy interviews over the weekend and on Monday, they said that Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald has started to prepare the paperwork to present to the grand jury seeking an indictment against White House Deputy Chief of Staff Karl Rove or National Security Adviser Stephen Hadley.

    Although the situation remains fluid, it's possible, these sources said, that Fitzgerald may seek to indict both Rove and Hadley, charging them with perjury, obstruction of justice, and conspiracy related to their roles in the leak of Plame Wilson's identity and their effort to cover up their involvement following a Justice Department investigation.

YIIIPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! And like any good Fitzmas, the more you read, the better it gets. Ahhhh.

A big kiss for Diane for the best news I've had in weeks. Months even. I cannot wait until the Cheney madministration is in jail, so I can go back (sic) to being a normal person. You know the kind -- with hobbies, varied interests, travel on the horizon, enjoying her family, her pets, and reading! Fiction! For prolonged periods! Without banging her head against the wall and throwing knives at the television when the news interrupts! Wow. That sure would be nice. Please, Paddy Fitz. I've been a good grrl.

Shhh, Don't Tell db

In a couple of weeks it'll be "Spring Holiday" here, also known as "Easter" off-campus, and I'm thinking of making db a leetle surprise. I'll share my recipe -- or, rather, someone's recipe -- with you: How to Make Marshmallow Chicks.

That's right, PEEPS! Everybody loves Peeps!

Except me. Eeeuuuuwww! Peeps are icky. Peeps, while adorable, are practically inedible. Peeps make my ears go all oogie tingly. On the inside. They're, what, at least 99% sugar? The other 1% probably a gummy saccharine-derivative. Peeps can only come around once a year*, because it takes a good 364 days to emerge from the sugar coma to, you guessed it, gorge on Peeps again!

What are Peeps and where did they come from? I don't know about y'all, but I get on my battered, heathen knees everytime I have a question and thank His Noodly Highness that the wonder that is Wikipedia exists, and it (we? they?) have the presence of mind to add the truly important entries like this one. Everything you ever wanted to know about Peeps but were afraid to ask.

I'd never eaten a Peep before I met db. Never even considered it, though that's misleading, because I don't think I knew what they were to consider having one or not. db's introduced me to many of the finer culinary joys in life: never had a slurpee, a twinkie, cheese fries, a whole bevy of drinks, cornbread, grits, brisket, green bean casserole, something else big that I'm forgetting, circus peanuts!, &c. and &c. 

Now, before everyone pulls out their hankies and starts boohooing at my deprived existence, please know that 1) I've known db for a long time so some of this follows the usual broadening of palates, 2) my family's culinary habits ran to the more, er, natural and vegetable-rich, and 3) I had a deprived existence.

[*Aiiiyy!! There are now Peeps for All Seasons!! No rest for the wicked.]

[More wonderful pix of Peeps in the Park here. Ha.]

Horse Poetica

Courtesy of Verse Daily, an equine cousin of arse poetica.

Horse Poetica

The one I rode in on. That mud-colored nag.
When he blinks his black eye bigger
than my fist, his eyelid's an upside-down
pocket. And the scrape, the spark of horseshoes
on dry riverbed rocks—every sound has a silence
tied to its tail. Or else it gets penned
up in the mighty barrel staves of his ribs.
Oh, but staves? That makes me
hear music. That tinny harmonica, that tuneless
squeezebox, the song we ought to know
better by now, but still follow for days
down a path that's only a path because
we belive it is. Now where'd our giddy up
and go go? My horse can't canter. I hop along.
We've been outfoxed. Farmed out and fenced in.
If we were given a chance, then given
a second chance, we'd both choose a paddle
and a boat and float. Soggy but saddle-less.
We'd both need new names.
Then new shoes. Meanwhile, we hang
a left at the one-armed cactus. There's another life
after this one, but it's just as dusty. Meanwhile,
we're caught in a crowd of cows and cowhands.
But they part for us, they part like the Red Sea
of beef. Then they get going. Then I get
the bit between his teeth. Then he bites.
Boy, could we use a minor catastrophe or two.
Let lightning like a lasso streak straight at us.

-- Matthew Thorburn

For whatever reason, "Boy, could we use a minor catastrophe or two" is just slaying me over here.

[photo credit]

Riverbend Up for a Book Prize!

Couldn't be happier. Hope she wins.

Iraqi woman's Baghdad blog in the running for GBP 30,000 book prize.

An anonymous Iraqi woman has become the first blog author to be in the running for a big literary prize for a book published between hard covers.Baghdad Burning, by a 26-year-old author who has won an international readership under the pen name Riverbend, is longlisted for the GBP 30,000 Samuel Johnson award.

In the list, announced today, she is up against 18 other books including Alan Bennett's latest bestseller, histories of the cold war and the great wall of China, and a biography of the 19th-century cookbook author Mrs Beeton. The Guardian carried an extract from Riverbend's title last summer.

The small literary publisher Marion Boyars brought out Baghdad Burning last year, classifying it under biography and memoir. The publishing house says it knows Riverbend's identity but respects her wish to remain anonymous.

It has already come third in the Lettre Ulysses prize for Reportage, winning GBP 14,000, and was shortlisted for an Index on Censorship freedom of expression award.

Riverbend began the blog with the words: "I'm female, Iraqi and 24. I survived the war. That's all you need to know. It's all that matters these days anyway."

University-educated Riverbend worked as a computer programmer before the invasion which began on March 20, 2003.

She lost her job, she told her readers, when it became too dangerous for Iraqi women to travel to work alone.

I encourage everyone to visit Baghdad Burning if you have not already. The moral distance between Riverbend and Donald Rumsfeld, say, could not be calculated w/ a million supercomputers all working at computation speeds greater than we can imagine in 1,000 lifetimes -- somewhere around the equivalent of 10,000 billion light years, I'm guessing. And I'm not exaggerating.

Wait, Don't Kill Your Television Just Yet

I take back every snarky thing I ever said about David E. Kelley. I give you the wonder that is James Spader's closing argument on "Boston Legal," a show I am now regretting never watching. Dang.

Note to Dems: just crib this, dammit.

[Thanks, Erudite Redneck!]

Si Se Puede!

Things like this give me hope. Half a million people on the streets and we don't have to hope for tides turning -- they've already turned. The Gropenator's numbers are in the toilet, the Repug agenda has been exposed for what it is (namely, Power to the Corporations), and even the media has realized they suck.

In spite of all that, maybe it's true that people really do want freedom and liberty and not just in oil-rich lands 6,000 miles away where invaders with tanks and machine guns insist that is their gift to them.

More Than 500,000 Rally in L.A. for Immigrants' Rights.

Joining what some are calling the nation's largest mobilization of immigrants ever, hundreds of thousands of people boisterously marched in downtown Los Angeles Saturday to protest federal legislation that would crack down on undocumented immigrants, penalize those who help them and build a security wall on the U.S. southern border.

Spirited crowds representing labor, religious groups, civil-rights advocates and ordinary immigrants stretched over 26 blocks of downtown Los Angeles from Adams Blvd. along Spring Street and Broadway to City Hall, tooting kazoos, waving American flags and chanting "Si se puede!" (Yes we can!).

The crowd, estimated by police at more than 500.000, represented one of the largest protest marches in Los Angeles history, surpassing Vietnam War demonstrations and the 70,000 who rallied downtown against Proposition 187, a 1994 state initiative that denied public benefits to undocumented migrants.

The marchers included both longtime residents and the newly arrived, bound by a desire for a better life and a love for this county.

Yeah.

>>>UPDATE: Our friend KC Sheehan was there! Read all about it.