If one were a fan -- nay, a lover, a collector, an ardent observer -- of the absurd, of the impossibly, deliciously, impoliticly implausible, then one could positively enjoy these daily howlers (read: mindf*cks) from the White House. I mean truly laugh, or bask in the glow of a hand well played, a riposte delivered w/ extravagant flourish, a peak impossibly climbed. It takes a special someone not to lose their grip on all that tethers us humbly, dumbly to sanity. I am not that someone.
For instance, I could live a thousand years and never expect this headline.
Rummy exit expected; Lieberman eyed for job.
White House officials are telling associates they expect Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld to quit early next year, once a new government is formed in Iraq, sources said yesterday.
My first thought upon reading this: OH DEAR GOD, PLEASE LET IT BE TRUE!! My second thought: "Quit"? "New gubmint"? What's the catch?
Rumsfeld's deputy, Gordon England, is the inside contender to replace him, but there's also speculation that Sen. Joe Lieberman - a Democrat who ran against Bush-Cheney in the 2000 election - might become top guy at the Pentagon.
Fact check!! The Daily News seems to be under the impression that Senator Nomentum is a Democrat. My how editorial standards have lapsed.
That's not as farfetched as it might first appear.
Actually, it is. Senator Foementum is hardly a Democrat. Everybody knows that.
Oh, they meant that it's not farfetched that Senator Homentum might become the Pentagon's Pinnacle Prick? Nah, doesn't seem terribly farfetched when I think of it that way, no.
The Daily News has learned that the White House considered Lieberman for the UN ambassador's job last year before giving the post to John Bolton, a Bush adviser said.
Hint to the Daily News re: Senator D'ohmentum's alleged allegiance to/alliance with the Democratic Party: He was considerd by B*shCo. for the job of Pitbull At the Jugular of the UN ahead of John Bolton, a long-time avowed hater of the UN and all it stands for. Does that sound like something a Democrat (species: Ted Kennedy) would do? I rest my case.
[snip]
Bush has told friends that Rumsfeld is a political liability, but the President has a history of sticking with his personnel baggage until an opportune moment.
Fact check!! 1) B*sh has "friends"? Bwahahaha! Good one. 2) The words "B*sh" and "history" should not be uttered in the same sentence with few exceptions, e.g.: B*sh is the worst preznit in history; History will not look kindly on B*sh; (colloq.) That bush (shrub, foilage) is history! Otherwise, you make an ass out of you and me. 3) "Personnel" should read "personal." Duh.
"Only Rumsfeld will make Rumsfeld leave," a White House source said.
Now, that sounds closer to the truth. [Insert obligatory "R*msfeld wouldn't know the truth if it ..." joke here.]
Heard it here first, on a Connecticut blog, and still cannot believe it.
Posted by: coturnix | Saturday, 10 December 2005 at 06:39 PM
What in the name of all that's holy is up with Lieberman??? I just cannot figure out what he's angling for - perhaps Republican of the month? It just goes to prove the old saying - politics make strange bedfellows.
Posted by: The Fat Lady Sings | Sunday, 11 December 2005 at 02:51 AM