arse poetica

Brevity Is the Soul of Wit + MRI Notes

Or the soul of twit, judging by the subject matter. My two fave recaps of dumbyass's speech last night, which I assiduously avoided, trying very hard to come down off a distressingly stressful MRI exam yesterday afternoon*. My body just could not take another threat to its well being, perceived or real:

By the numbers.

By the blunders.

[*MRIs suck. Well, I'm sure they're quite good at what they do (what do I know?), but I am not a fan of getting inside one. You know when you feel like you're going to suffocate and your heart starts to beat out of your chest and adrenalin is coursing through you so much that you cannot prevent yourself from shaking? Well, I don't, but that was me yesterday. Not.A.Fan.Of.The.MRI. Thanks to the nice nurse who held my hand for the duration. No thanks to my brain for not being able to override my instincts. Dang. No amount of intellectual understanding of the process, nor lack of fear about it, nor rational remove could overtake the decidedly superior (in this instance) fight-or-flight response. To sum up, it sucketh for those of us with even slight claustrophobia, but I was able to make it through the whole 45 minute ordeal via a highly motivated program of 1) stop it, wimp! 2) you don't want to pay for this twice, 3) singing the national anthem -- the only song I could remember! -- over and over, while 4) concentrating on one spot in the middle distance (eyes closed), and 5) trying to remember to breathe. I would much rather have had visualized my horseback ride along Ushuaia Bay, which I tried in vain to do, but I couldn't call any images up, not even of db!

Having had this experience, and you'll please forgive the empathetic leap I am about to make, I feel even more saddened about (and frightened for) the victims of torture. I am not comparing the experiences, obviously, but I am saying that my body was in distress and in a state I could not control, and if anyone had made me feel that way on purpose in a different context, I would have considered it a significant violation. I do not suffer from panic disorder or anxiety attacks, which is a bleeding wonder considering the atrocious news we hear on a daily basis, but I had to talk myself through breathing (!), try to override the all-body shakes, and to wonder at the end if the stress was going to make me have a heart attack when I felt a constriction and pressure in my chest and a pain down my left arm. This is not normal, and this is happening in hospital conditions. What if this were happening in medically-supervised, non-hospital, "detention center" conditions, which is to say what if people were frightening other people like this on purpose? What if they knew someone were claustrophobic, say, or afraid of the dark or of dogs, and then they manipulated that person's environment to play against these fears, and what if they did it again and again? I dare say that people could not last very long under that amount of strain without considerable damage to mental and physical well being. I was spent after an hour of it, knowing I was ostensibly safe and could stop at any time.]

If the Saltine Fits...

After I read this:

A Pennsylvania House session was suspended for more than an hour Wednesday after a black lawmaker, upset by a white colleague's comments about ethnic groups, referred to him as a "cracker."

The comments came during debate on a bill that would allow residents of communities governed by homeowners' associations to fly the American flag on their property, even if association rules prohibited them from doing so.

Rep. Thomas Yewcic, who is white, said people shouldn't be ashamed to support the American flag. "If any ethnic group wants to fly ... a flag, and they're embarrassed to fly an American flag, they should go back to their ethnic origins and fly it there," he said.

In response, Rep. John Myers accused Yewcic of espousing "a belligerent, racist doctrine."

"I think that those type of remarks would come from a cracker," Myers said, using a derogatory term for a poor, white person.

House Speaker John Perzel admonished Myers and Yewcic apologized. Myers then rose again and said he was sorry for uttering the slur, prompting hoots and boos from lawmakers in the chamber. Perzel called a recess for more than an hour.

... I will admit that I lamented the lack of standards among the Repugs in our Congressional chambers, state- and nationwide. Then I read the last sentence:

Both Myers and Yewcic are Democrats.

Dur! Now, ask yourself: what kind of Dem would say that if certain ethnic groups (black folks) did not like it 'round here (Murka, Jesusland, etc.) they could take their ethnic (black) asses back to their ethnic homeland (Africa)? Oh, a cracker-ass cracker Dixiecrat would say that. The type of representative who would, say, propose a bill to repeal the words "actual or perceived ancestry, mental or physical disability, sexual orientation, gender or gender identity" attached to a hate crimes law. Mm hmm. Right.

P.S. "Cracker" does not merely refer to a poor, white person, but denotes a racist poor, white person in particular.

Annie Liebowitz Moment; or, Thursday Dingo Blogging

The Dingo, db, and I are having a must-record moment all lined up in a row together like little pegs in bed, and I have no idea where the camera is, because db's just returned from his travels. Dang! I'm propped against my pillows typing this; db is on his back, one arm over his head, the other draping over my arm (making it difficult to type) (also, *hot*), and the Stinks is curled into a gorgeous little ball on the other side of db, her head laid ever so gently on the pillow. We are currently radiating enough heat to affect weather patterns.

db and Stinks have been asleep for a good 2 hrs, though most of it in separate quarters. (Her bed is on the floor, though discriminating dingos prefer the couch.) But when db made the tactical error of rolling over toward me a short while ago, a biiiiiig spot opened up on the other side of the bed, and the Dingo, being the genius beast that she is, decided to take the opportunity to score some Grade-A sleeping conditions. She often sleeps with us, starting at the middle of the bed after some minutes of rasslin' and tusslin' when db first turns in for the night, then making her way to the cooler, more expansive foot of the bed, then waking up and going outside (via doggie door) and then coming back for head pats before jumping back up on the bed to snuggle between us. (Not that I pay attention to the habits of my dog or anything. Photo caveat: The photo below of said gorgeous beast was taken a couple of months ago.)

db's head has slipped between my pillow and his. Somehow he doesn't look as comfortable as Stinky and I do. Now he's just rolled over, and he and Stinks are spooning, sharing a pillow, which is too adorable for words, and I wish I knew where the camera was, though I don't know how to set up that auto-picture thingie anyhoo. Double dang!

This will have to stand-in for Friday Dingo Blogging, because I'm off tomorrow for a weekend jaunt w/ my best pal to one of the GA barrier islands, sans Dingo and db, sadly, and I will not have internet access on the island of which I am aware. How did people live without the internet? Maybe they packed books and headed to barrier islands to hike around and camp out w/ friends?

No, Really, Where Was Ch*ney?

Salon.com Politics.

...In today's New York Daily News, Lloyd Grove says he's got a source on the Cheney story -- and that his source backs up Huffington's version of events.

Grove says his "well-connected" source tells him that Cheney had an EKG in Vail after medical personnel there noticed that his breathing was labored. "That's pretty common at this high altitude," the source, who lives in Vail, told Grove. "We're at 8,500 feet, and the air is pretty thin, which is hard if you're not used to it." The source said -- as Huffington previously reported -- that Cheney checked into the hospital as "Dr. Hoffman" -- the name of his doctor back in Washington -- and that he stayed for two hours and 41 minutes.

Grove says that Cheney's spokeswoman, Lea Anne McBride, "specifically denied" that the vice president had undergone an EKG. "The vice president had an appointment with a renowned orthopedist in Vail to evaluate an old football injury," she said. Grove's response: "Why do I feel like someone is pulling my leg?"

Cheney is how old? How long ago did he sustain this "old football injury" that he needs to be rushed to the hospital to have it looked at? How long would an orthopaedic consult take if one were, say, the acting preznit of the United States? For me, yes, it would take 2 hrs. and 41 minutes, but for Ch*ney, I'm thinking they could whip him in and out in 30 minutes, or, better yet, do a "consult" in the privacy of his own suite at whatever luxe accommodations in which he's staying. Is this madministration so stupid as to NOT go with the "high altitude" story, which would be believable, true or not? Yes, this madministration is stupid enough NOT to go w/ the high altitude story, because, again -- repeat after me, kiddies -- everything is fine. Nothing to see here. Move along. The patient who's had 4 heart attacks and a defibrillator implanted does not -- I repeat, does not -- have anything wrong with his alleged heart.

I'm Sorry, What?

Museum of Earth History.

CTF has joined with the makers of the Great Passion Play in Eureka Springs, AR, to develop a world-class museum that presents the biblical account of early history. This phenomenal venture will offer high-quality, scientific exhibits displayed in a totally biblical setting. Viewers will journey through three epic periods of ancient history often overlooked by modern historians: life before the fall, the post-fall world, and life after the devastating effects of the great Genesis Flood.

You can lead the hordes to water, but you can't make them think. Is that it? Hey, if the Museum of Natural History won't sing your tune with all its fancy-pants elitist science bias, build your own museum and stock it full of "information" about how dinosaurs were on Noah's Ark, for instance.

Alrighty then. Anybody have an apt. in Sweden or Denmark I can rent for an indefinite period of time? Thanks.

Sputter! Choke! Spit Take!

BBC NEWS | Americas | Reagan voted 'greatest American'.

Well, he wouldn't have been my first choice. Not by a mile. Not by a stretch. Not for a million dollars. Not if he were the last moron, deficit-ballooning, racebaiting, trickle down preznit on Earth. [He's not the last. See: #6. -- Horrible Realization Ed.]

The Discovery Channel and AOL's poll of the 10 Greatest Americans shook down thusly:

1 Ronald Reagan

2 Abraham Lincoln

3 Martin Luther King

4 George Washington

5 Benjamin Franklin

6 dumbyass

7 Bill Clinton

8 Elvis Presley

9 Oprah Winfrey

10 Franklin D Roosevelt

I was thinking more along the lines of Harriet Tubman and Fannie Lou Hamer myself, and Thomas Jefferson was kind of important, too, but then I'm not one of those who, as Jerrold Nadler said about the flag, "value the symbol more than the freedoms that the(y) represent."

Reagan Symbol: Affable grandpa type. He looked good on TV. The people felt good when Grandpa Ronnie tucked them in at night, knowing he was taking the fight to the commies. 

Reagan Reality: Nuclear insanity, AIDS, apartheid, war on poverty, "welfare queens," Iran-Contra, deficits deficits deficits, and "liberating" the camps in WWII.

You know what? F*ck it. If people are such idiots as to think this asshole is the "greatest American," so be it. It's just one more example of how sad and spun everything is now. We need the Great Murkan (Re-)Education Offensive to begin immediately, please.

Arundhati Roy on Moral Imperatives

As I pulled in the driveway this evening I heard Arundhati Roy say this :

To ask us why we are doing this, you know, why is there a World Tribunal on Iraq, is like asking, you know, someone who stops at the site of an accident where people are dying on the road, why did you stop? Why didn't you keep walking like everybody else?

and I thought, Well, yes. Exactly.

Art is Everywhere II

I'm sick of the news, which isn't news itself, so I'm playing around looking at purty things while db is away. The Dingo is keeping me warm in his absence (not that there is great need to be warm in June, soon-to-be-July, in NC). I love her fur! She smells so good! </exclamatory remarks about the wee beastie>.

I'm thinking of the six thousand and three things that I need to do before my grandmother visits in a week and a half. Sheesh! I wonder if it's possible to do a year's worth of landscaping in, like, 3 days. I'm off for a little trip over the July 4th weekend, so when will I find the time??

Ech, the landscaping can wait. I've got my two fave Flickr tags to consider:

Kite Aerial Photography.

Streetart.

Art is Everywhere

Check out the winners of Princeton University's Art of Science Competition.

Is Our Teachers Earning?

I have always liked Dave Eggers. Though McSweeney's is regarded as the height of Gen X ironic detachment and pedantic observation (by some), it doesn't leave me cold. It's clever without being too sharp. It's geek clever, not snob clever, and when I detect snobbery in its pages, it's almost always in the self-conscious vibe of, say, music or film geekery, in which the snobbery, such that it is, is organic to the pursuit and, thus, tenderly mocked. Some of my generation's cultural output is misunderstood as being only about slouchy disaffection (ironic detachment again), but I find so much filled with confusion, longing, and, in Eggers's work in particular, compassion. So, yeah, whatever. See: A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, damn.

When we were debating living in NY again (in the absence of a job in hand for me), I thought to myself that, well, I'd start at 826NYC, an off-shoot of Eggers's original, inspired SF volunteer org, 826 Valencia. At least my time in the beginning would be well spent, and I'd meet some folks I liked to boot. That said, it's no surprise to read the plea on behalf of teachers by Dave Eggers, Ninive Caligari, and Daniel Moulthrop in today's NYT: Reading, Writing, Retailing. Good on ya, Dave, and godspeed.